Clarity

So now that I am unemployed, I find that I have more time to find myself and what it really is that I want out of life. I want a partner that doesn't lie to me someone who is assertive of who they are. And so far I think I have that. It's just that I think the life goals are not aligned. I called my ex and expressed to him the fear I have of moving back to San Diego today. I think I'm just scared to like him or be friends again. I can't quite explain the nightmares I have when he's in town. But today I felt good telling him how I felt and why I hadn't come to a decision yet. I still can't trust him for the life of me. I think writting this is making the whole thing just seem more ridiculous indeed. Geesh, sometimes I wish I could just go to a phsychic or something and ask what my future holds. In the meantime I will continue to look for a new job and clear out what it is I really want to do educationally. I was thinking a Masters in Education, or just a teaching credential or both. And some other interests in counseling and social work. We'll see how it goes...